Are You An Useful Jerk?

Do you fall for the “give me a mortgage, a salary and a TV+Playstation combo and I’ll be a system slave for the rest of my life” way of life?

To find out, take this test:

  1. I don’t like my job, yet I don’t quit.
  2. I am happy knowing that I’ll spend the next 20 years paying off my mortgage
  3. I love watching TV, in fact, I have dinner watching it.
  4. I have a gaming console, and I spend most Saturday afternoons using it with my friends.
  5. I don’t really care about politics
  6. I think it is horrible the way China treats pets and something should be done about it.
  7. I think The Lord of The Rings was a great movie.
  8. I have an Ipod, and I’m thinking about getting an Iphone, plus replacing my old Ipod with the new Ipod Nano.
  9. I talk about Survivor and The Apprentice episodes with co-workers at coffee breaks.

If you had,

1 – 3 positive results: You are not a Useful Jerk, but you should consult a mental health practitioner ASAP since obviously some polluted symbolic agents are trying to spread into the rest of your mental activity.

4 – 6 positive results: You should seriously consider dropping your life as it is and make an inspiring trip around the world. Meet new people, lose all contact with everyone in your life, who’ve obviously been such a bad influence for you thus far. There’s still hope for you my friend, but you need to start acknowledging that you have serious issues before it is too late.

7 – 9 positive results: I’m sorry. There is no hope for you. You might as well keep being an Useful Jerk. I guess the ecosystem needs a majority of them anyways. Just try to stay out of my way.

Share this post with your favorite community: Digg StumbleUpon Netscape Reddit Technorati


#1 Mark on 08.22.07 at 7:10 am

Genius. I scored 1.. Nothing wrong with a bit of gaming at the weekends. What’s survivor? :)

#2 You Are Not Happy Because Adsense Sucks — Black Hat SEO Diary on 08.22.07 at 9:19 am

[...] ← Are You An Useful Jerk? [...]

#3 BlackHatDomainer on 08.25.07 at 7:02 pm

Best post I have seen in years!

I just wonder why the test has 9 points. What is secret number 10 jerk quiz?

#4 SEO: The Revenge Of The Nerds — Black Hat SEO Diary on 09.04.07 at 9:41 am

[...] to school, and pretty much does what he wants. The cool kids that used to make fun of him are all useful jerks, tied up to jobs and mortgages that they’ll finish paying the day that Matt Cutts quit [...]

#5 Living your life to the fullest…really! | extreme webmaster evernerve on 02.18.08 at 8:55 am

[...] have recently read a good post on wasting your life away by being a useful jerk. And it made me conscious of the way I lead my life today. It made me realize how I am spending my [...]

Leave a Comment