Entries Tagged 'Just Life' ↓

SEO: The Revenge Of The Nerds

Let’s face it. SEO is the revenge of the nerds.

Geeks turned Internet Marketers achieving fame and fortune because they can reverse engineer Search Engine Algorithms.


Gotta love it. Don’t believe me? See this real example.

John (ok you got me, he’s real name is not John) used to be teased by his classmates at school. He was engineering his own scanner using a Commodore 64 printer and a bunch of light sensitive wires when he was 10. Don’t ask me how he did it.

His parents thought he’d never get too far without social skills, which he clearly didn’t have. He ended up dropping school one year before finishing and working for a local PC repair shop. After a few months he started programming in various languages and working on freelance projects. He had more work than he could chew but he struggled with project managing his own time, plus he was underpricing his own services. He was buried in work and earning just enough to make rent.

He barely saw the light of day, had no friends except for a few bunch of weirdos like him, and everyone else felt pretty good about themselves giving him a hard time. “I’ve always said so, John can be a genious with those machines but he’ll never make it far without good social skills and emotional intelligence.” His idea of fun was to get with his friends and dress up like this:

Star Wars Geeks

That’s until he stumbled upon SEO. In 1998 he got heavily into web development. He realized how easy it was to optimize these pages for the search engines and get a lot of traffic. He kept researching and realized he could actually make money doing this. Long story short. John is one of many succesful SEOs who makes more than $500K a year. He drives an Aston Martin like the one below:

Aston Martin

He owns a few houses around the world, and he enjoys Blue Label Johnny Walker Scotch on his deck looking at this:

Beachfront Property

He makes his own hours, drives his kids to school, and pretty much does what he wants. The cool kids that used to make fun of him are all useful jerks, tied up to jobs and mortgages that they’ll finish paying the day that Matt Cutts quit talking about paid links.

All the Marketing girls from corporate firms keep flirting with him trying to get him to sign up with them. John thanks them and excuse himself for being too busy to do any consulting work. Then he smiles and remembers when the same kind of girls used to make fun of him at school.

Are You An Useful Jerk?

Do you fall for the “give me a mortgage, a salary and a TV+Playstation combo and I’ll be a system slave for the rest of my life” way of life?

To find out, take this test:

  1. I don’t like my job, yet I don’t quit.
  2. I am happy knowing that I’ll spend the next 20 years paying off my mortgage
  3. I love watching TV, in fact, I have dinner watching it.
  4. I have a gaming console, and I spend most Saturday afternoons using it with my friends.
  5. I don’t really care about politics
  6. I think it is horrible the way China treats pets and something should be done about it.
  7. I think The Lord of The Rings was a great movie.
  8. I have an Ipod, and I’m thinking about getting an Iphone, plus replacing my old Ipod with the new Ipod Nano.
  9. I talk about Survivor and The Apprentice episodes with co-workers at coffee breaks.

If you had,

1 – 3 positive results: You are not a Useful Jerk, but you should consult a mental health practitioner ASAP since obviously some polluted symbolic agents are trying to spread into the rest of your mental activity.

4 – 6 positive results: You should seriously consider dropping your life as it is and make an inspiring trip around the world. Meet new people, lose all contact with everyone in your life, who’ve obviously been such a bad influence for you thus far. There’s still hope for you my friend, but you need to start acknowledging that you have serious issues before it is too late.

7 – 9 positive results: I’m sorry. There is no hope for you. You might as well keep being an Useful Jerk. I guess the ecosystem needs a majority of them anyways. Just try to stay out of my way.