You Are Not Happy Because Adsense Sucks

You wanted to get out of the rat race, and in reality what happened is that you started a new rat race. Only this one can be scary as fucking hell, since you don’t have an employer to hate who will keep putting money in your bank every single month.

Adsense Sucks

You hated your life. You thought you were a better and smarter man than your boss, and you didn’t wanna be a useful jerk. You researched about making money online, you came across SEO, Internet Marketing and saw the opportunity of making money extremely fast using Black Hat Seo Techniques.

You forked out a few bucks here and there falling under ridiculous statements of kilometric sales pages (thanks for your legacy Corey Rudl), bought some domains, hosting, and went for it. After creating a gazillion pages of rubbish content with big ass Adsense blocks on them you started watching money rolling in. Yep, you thought, when I multiply this by 1000 I’ll be able to earn as much as I do know, only I’ll be happier, work from home, make my own hours, and all that shit that sounds so nice.

So there you went under the incredulous look of co-workers, friends and family who weren’t completely sure exactly what the hell you were talking about. Doesn’t matter you thought, they’ll see.

Cut to present time. So here you are now, few months down the road, making a decent living online. It all worked out, huh? Well actually not. Look at you. You are not happier than you were. True, you don’t have to put up with commuting, taking bullshit from bosses or clients or both, office politics, etc.

But have you seen yourself lately? I mean seriously, look at you, you are turning yourself into a fucking caveman. You are working more hours than you used to in your off line job, your wife gets pissed every time she calls you for dinner and you take 40 minutes to leave the computer. Sometimes you even spend the whole day in your fucking pajamas, which by the way they smell.

So I believe you’ll agree with me on the fact that something is not right with you. This is not what you quitted your job for. To make matters worse, your whole income will turn to dust if some nice employee in the Adsense team decides to ban your ass.

Whose fault is it? Adsense of course. Let’s imagine what would have happened if such an extremely easy way of turning traffic into money didn’t exist:

  1. From the beginning of your online money making ventures, you would have been forced to think about a niche and a series of products or services to sell to that niche.
  2. Since all your site/blog building efforts would have been geared towards this niche, you would have developed some topical authority.
  3. You would have been able to leverage this authority to improve your relationship with your audience.
  4. Being a newbie, you would have struggled with low conversions, which would have pushed your ass to go get some freaking education regarding traffic sources and quality, demographics, usability, conversions, landing page design, etc.
  5. With all this fresh knowledge you would have solved your low conversion headaches, your sales would have started to skyrocket your earnings and your ecpm would have been many times higher than whatever smartlousy Adsense algorithms decide to give you away for a bunch of clicks.
  6. Today, you’d be working less hours, analyzing stats, improving conversions, and planning how you are going to employ a guy or two to do all the legwork for the next niche you are planning to attack.
  7. You’d shave yourself, go to the gym, have spare money to buy shit you want, travel to paradise beaches and drink Piña Colada all day long.

So tomorrow after you finished installing your MFA scraper number one thousand, three hundred and twenty three, all those blogs that you’ll need to get it indexed, installing the autoposters, link spamming, submitting rss feeds and what not, stop for a moment and think:

I am overworked, more than half of my scrapers have been banned from the main search engines, I am earning more or less the same I used to make in my day job, all my income will go to zero the day Adsense decides to ban my account. I don’t get out much and last time I saw my reflection in the mirror I got scared. I am not happy because Adsense sucks.

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20 comments ↓

#1 Seocracy on 08.22.07 at 2:18 pm

All bad grammar aside, this post was pure brilliance.

Well done man.

Ad Sense is like the crack-cocaine of internet marketing…

#2 Gotan Raider on 08.22.07 at 6:34 pm

Thanks God for bad grammar. I couldn’t stand pure brilliance :-)

#3 Rubab on 08.23.07 at 6:19 pm

Thats right Adsense usually sucks.. that destroys all efforts to make popular blog. anyways cant even work without it.

#4 Kyle Healey on 08.23.07 at 9:22 pm

So what do you suggest one does? Go back to the 9 – 5? ha never!

#5 Favorite Browser on 08.24.07 at 1:31 am

Any Alternatives?

#6 Darren McLauglin on 08.24.07 at 11:51 am

Interesting take on Adsense.

#7 g on 08.24.07 at 1:56 pm

it’s eternal pursuit that will never end. Maybe unibomber was right, we should give up on technology and move back into caves. Ok maybe not, but I wish we weren’t addicted to technology so much.

#8 Rose Sylvia on 09.03.07 at 1:01 am

Very entertaining writing and lots of great points, save one: “Whose fault is it? Adsense of course.” (I’m not sure if he’s being serious or joking about that.)

If we blame anyone or anything outside ourselves we choose to be victims. If we take total responsibility we can change our life in a moment. I prefer the second option.

#9 Gotan Raider on 09.03.07 at 4:36 pm

I agree Rose. It was a tongue in cheek post. Of course we all need to take responsibility for what we do :)

#10 Wow on 10.30.07 at 6:46 pm

I’m impressed! Through some search or another, I wound up at your site… and read the first sentence, and then the second, and the third… and on and on, and you just write and write and write and write… but I can’t figure out if you’ve actually said anything! Amazing!!!! Do you charge for this service??? What takes but just a few phrases or sentences seems to require paragraphs of effort on your part…. I love it!!!! Please keep writing (more and more and more and more)…. can I hire you???

#11 Gotan Raider on 10.31.07 at 9:47 am

I approved you comment out of curiosity. I am just curious whether you are a real person or a spambot.

If the latter, the message is pretty creative and I’m sure will get a lot of approvals. But I googled for exact match strings and didn’t find any, so it may be spinning the content in which case it’s even more impressive.

Let’s see :)

#12 koeaing! on 11.09.07 at 7:33 pm

Gotan ! You are the man !
Even English is not my mother-language, i can grab your feeling when you are in trance of writing it ! it seems you talked to me directly !

Certainly, the way you think is my style either. thanks brother !

Your reader from Indonesia

#13 Extreme Webmaster on 12.05.07 at 4:00 am

Brilliant! I laughed my ass off when I read about the “smelly pajamas”. Lol lol lol. AdSense sucks if it’s the only source of income. If it’s just a part of a number of quality content websites with multiple revenue streams, then it’s fine. You don’t get banned and you earn some extra cash.

#14 YACG Mass Installer Is Fucking Great | Black Hat SEO Diary on 02.13.08 at 11:21 am

[...] I already explained why Adsense sucks. [...]

#15 Online Journal on 03.11.08 at 12:35 pm

What you have written is right but only in the case were you pull your leg your self? Why google will ban you unless you voilate terms?. Invalid clicks or any thing which is not permitted by google will definitly go down. I agree there is eliment of risk involved, but which bussiness is there where risk is not involved, any thing can happan pretty much any time. To me if we stay in limites defined by google every thing is good to go,
Good luck to all adsense publishers.
Joey

#16 seo addicted on 04.07.08 at 7:39 am

wooow gr8 piece of writing . although u r true in saying adsense sucks as i am also got banned there isnt any alternative which is as good as adsense , especially for people like me who are frm less developed country and doesnt have other oppurtunity online

#17 Gotan Raider on 04.14.08 at 7:33 am

@ seo addicted. There are hundreds/thousands of affiliate programs that will be happy to work with you as long as you send them good traffic/leads. Doesn’t matter where you are from.

#18 joe on 06.11.08 at 2:57 pm

that’s why i told many of my friends who are planing to make something out of adsense, not to spend too much time in one day on this. adsense will be come non-sense if you spend whole day doing it. if you take adsense as your main income you will go insane.

#19 Anon on 12.16.09 at 6:25 pm

So you are talking about YOURSELF?

#20 drood on 01.03.10 at 10:12 am

It’s funny that the whole PPC business is way too pathetic money but people still doing it. You do realize that PPC today means an earning for users in china, india not for you.
I own a site which had 20K visitors / month. First I experimented with bidvertiser, they payed so small money that it didn’t worth to leave the ADs on the site. Then I switched to adsense, I make a couple of $ per month which abso fucking louteley ridicoulus when you pay 100 USD/month for a server.

Ah and then we got to adsense, they didn’t approve the site because I put in my address which isn’t 1st world country.

The way I see things, all those who make steady money (I mean at LEAST 500$+/month) with ADs are pushing junk to the internet because TBH link farming setting up bullshit blogs and all the other blackhat SEO techniques have only 1 purpose to increase the income, not to make something good and useful.

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